...remembering that you're still the Universe's bitch.



Nihilism is starting to look up...at least in my life. Just doing anything these days is really worth it. What it is doesn't so much matter, because when the Universe in which you dwell is rapidly expanding and whose rate of expansion is ever increasing, what do you really have to care about? Everything that exists is alive in a sense and therefore everything will die (or at least decay). Earth will turn to ice, the Milky Way galaxy (or more specifically the Milkomeda galaxy after we merge with Andromeda in about 3 billion years) will evaporate, and our universe will tear itself to shreds. With all that in mind, how can anyone be bothered to consider the notion of right and wrong? The only things that are "right" are life and death. Everything in between is insignificant to a ridiculous degree.

The time it takes for a galaxy to evaporate is upwards of 100 quintillion years. Even one billion years is but a whisper in existence. The Universe never takes notice of a single human life or even the lives of our whole species. Planets can't even generate energy; why should it ever bother to look in our direction? Try to wrap your head around that concept and then see if you can ever look at your life the same way again.

Now this isn't me saying to give up. I just recommend that you make yourself happy. Don't spend so much time worrying and dwelling on success or failure; just find what it is (or for you romantics: Who) and stick with it for as long as you can. Then try not to think about all the bullshit that our descendants will have to go through if they manage to survive 100 trillion years to see the last of the stars in our galaxy die off.

You know what it is that makes me happy? This right here...this makes me happy: existing, thinking, contemplating the mysteries of the Universe (which aren't so much mysterious anymore), photography (most traditional art really; I just don't "get" modern art), MOST of my friends and family, music (as well as the dancing and singing that goes along with it), poetry (so I'm a sucker for words, what of it?), driving randomly around the country, late night conversations, and showing people things that they never saw before.

These are all things that make me extremely happy and I'll never again make the mistake of letting one slip away, because happiness is far too precious a commodity these days.

So please, think about what makes you happy...now, hold on to those thoughts and don't let go.

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Side note on the power of music:

I think that Elton John's "Your Song" was the first piece of music that really hit me the hardest as a child. It taught me about just how powerful music can be; about how emotions and words can become so much more powerful when joined by instruments during communication. Of course, immediately after hearing "Your Song," I heard "Pull My Strings" by the Dead Kennedys and "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails and learned some very different lessons about the power of music.

Music can be about all sorts of things and it all has so many different meanings to different people.

Love: "I've gotta big big big big heart beat, yeah. I think you are the sweetest thing. I wear a coat of feelings and they are loud. I've been having good days. Think we are the right age, to start out own peculiar ways." - Animal Collective (Purple Bottle)
Lust: "You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you, you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you." - N.I.N. (Closer)
Politics: "Well, I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. They sing while you slave and I just get bored. I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more." - Bob Dylan (Maggie's Farm)
Good, Wholesome Fun: "Just you and me eating fudge banana swirl. Just you and me, we'll travel round the world. Just you and me punk rock girl." - The Dead Milkmen (Punk Rock Girl)
Awesome, Dirty Fun: "I screamed "Kill Whitey!" at the top of my lungs, at the cops in their cars and the men in their suits. No, I won't take your hand and marry the State." - Against Me! (Baby, I'm an Anarchist!)
Everyday Life Troubles: "Mardi Gras came and went, all my money has been spent. How 'm I gonna pay the rent sitting on my ass? Who mistook the steak for chicken? Whom I gonna stick my dick in?" - Moldy Peaches (Steak for Chicken)
Money: "I wanna be a tool, don't need no soul. Wanna make big money, playing rock and roll." - Dead Kennedys (Pull My Strings)

To me, music first and foremost means "Life," because I don't think I'd even be alive if it wasn't for Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" and all the other songs the house band at the bar my parents met at used to play back in 1980.